My Father

This is my first Father's Day with my dad in heaven. Allow me to share a few thoughts I had of him today and what I would say to him if given the chance.

Dad,

• thank you for your faith in God and sharing it with your children and grandchildren,
• I loved the way you could make just about anyone your friend,
• I will always think about the way you'd smiled at mom (with a glint in your eye) when you thought no one was looking,
• your talent for emceeing and singing were unprecedented,
• you were strict when I was growing up, but now I know how right you were,
• I'm thankful for the way you always provided for us as a family without ever once letting anyone know how difficult it could be some times,
• I still have the memories of your big hands and the feeling they gave me when you would reprimand me when necessary or stroke my head or my arm when I needed reassurance,
• there are too many things to tell you that I miss about you, but let me tell you one of silly things, your beautiful handwriting in the annual birthday and Christmas cards.

So dad, last Father's Day you began to share with us the pain you were in with the cancer taking over your body, that memory is slowly beginning to fade for me. Instead I have the 41 years of my life, with you in it, to focus on and to thank God for.

Rest in peace daddy!

9/13/32 - 6/28/09

Trust in God

My hard working husband has had elbows that look like this for some time:

They had never caused him a lot of pain. Only when bumped.

Several years ago a doctor diagnosed him with bone spurs. Not an uncommon ailment. We knew the only way to correct it however was surgery. The only problem would be that he needed to schedule his vacation for the time of the surgery because he is our sole provider and we really can't manage without his income for any length of time. With his elbows never being painful and him always being able to continue working with them vacation was always spent for other reasons and he never had the surgery.

Last month the pain he was in with the left elbow became unbearable and constant. He made an appointment and met with an orthopedic surgeon a few weeks ago to find out what had changed. The doctor discovered the left elbow bone spur actually was cracked. Thus, surgery can not be put off any longer!!

Now we prepare for his vacation to co-ordinate with his surgery and get ourselves prepared financially to handle him being out of work for longer than 2 weeks in case the healing doesn't go as planned.

I'm praying hard and trusting in God!! But I must admit that this is a lot harder for my human flawed self to do than I care to say.

The other morning I had a dream my father was riding in a car with me while I drove and he was holding my hand. He didn't speak, but I saw his hand and his face and knew he was there. Do you think this may be God's way of letting me know He's hearing my prayers? And I need to just trust?

A Year Ago

May 24

This day last year started my journey with mom and dad...

They came to Virginia for what we thought would be a quick layover on their trip to Massachusetts. In hopes of getting a better diagnosis at Dana Faber Institute and live with my brother. Dad had been fighting cancer for several months by this point and wasn't winning the battle. He knew this better than any of us. After arriving in Virginia he decided he didn't want to go any further and chose to spend his final days here.

God had a plan and we were all in for the ride. Thank you Lord for that opportunity!! I will NEVER regret a moment of those days... He lived another 5 weeks...

Another Day, Another year

In some families birthdays are like national holidays. Everyone gets together to celebrate and gifts are always given. In my family, growing up, birthdays were never something extraordinary, but rather kind of ordinary. Mom would make us a cake, that would be served after dinner, a card, a simple gift given from mom and dad, and the day was over, very simple.

I'm not complaining!! Just making an observation that I've noticed through the years, lots of families go all out on birthdays. Thankfully, Mike's family was much like mine when it came to birthdays. In fact he can recall one year he had to remind his mother it even was his birthday. Yesterday was my birthday, and it passed without any big blow outs. And you know what? That's okay!

21 years ago, on my 21st birthday we buried my father-in-law. Turning 21 is suppose to be a really big event. Mine was, but for all the wrong reasons. I'm thankful however because I will always remember the date of the death of a man that meant a lot to me! I truly believe that because my expectations on birthday celebrations is so low that it made that particular one passing without celebration bearable. Part of God's great plan? Maybe.

This was my first birthday without my own father, having lost him June 28, 2009. This year has been a many of firsts without him, and I did notice my birthday. Couldn't quite put my finger on what had been eating away at me for the entire day, but later it hit me, dad wasn't here to give me the happy birthday phone call.

I prayed to God yesterday that he would embrace dad for me on my birthday, and to be sure he knew how much he is loved, and missed.

Thank you Lord for another day!

You Can Taste the Sunshine

Mom and Dad retired to sunny Florida about 8 years ago. Over the past several years they have sent us a package of oranges for Christmas. The oranges are always so appreciated, but I would have to say that this year's box was the best one yet!

As you can see the girls and I couldn't wait to dig into them while the men were out hunting. The box had 6 each, tangerines, red navels, navels and tangelos. They all taste soooo good!

Oh the turmoil!

Wow, it has been 3 days since I had anything to write in my blog! Does that mean I live a boring life? Well, maybe.

I've been doing school work (with the kids), house work, laundry and of course plenty of knitting. I'll finish Laura's wrap for her 50th birthday today, and should even have time to block it. Maybe I'll post a picture tomorrow.

When a knitter is in the process of finishing one project she/he spends almost as much time figuring out what will be worked on next. Or at least I do. So yesterday morning I spent a lot of time figuring out what I wanted to make my dad for Christmas and then discovering I didn't have anything in my stash (yarn in waiting to those of you who don't knit) that would work for the project I decided on.

Which can only mean I had to place a call to my favorite yarn shop back in Connecticut!! My good friends Sue and Paula, found exactly what I needed, and it was all in the bargain bin for 50% off!! No kidding!! So, since I saved all that money I then put them to work to fill the box, that was already now coming to Virginia anyway, with a some more yarn for the stash. Woooooo Hoooooo!!

Now I need to find something to work on until the box arrives! Oh the woes of a knitter!

Just Everyday Stuff

Not much happening around here.

We had to renegotiate the contract on the house because the appraisal came in lower than buying price. Which is good for us. One more hurdle to hop over that is all. Because it is a new construction there are a lot of forms that need to be completed that we have to wait on. But, we still expect to close before the end of October.

As for knitting, I'm still working on Laura's 50th birthday gift. Almost finished there and formulating the next project. Thinking Dad will get something knitted for Christmas.

Today we all go to mass at 1:00, and then we will do some shopping. Haley is in need of warmer clothes. Then off to Liberty University for Jacob's piano lesson.